


Party of One

by usedupshiver



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki-centric, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Smoking, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2415851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usedupshiver/pseuds/usedupshiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As if being stood up by a date wasn't strange enough, Tony ends the night by accidentally blowing the cover of Loki, gone into hiding. </p><p>Can a tense truce turn into some sort of understanding? Does a mighty hero trying to cope with everyday life, and a villain in human clothing, have anything in common?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blind Date

It took him nearly half an hour to accept the fact that he had been stood up.

Tony Stark. Stood up by a date.

It was such a surprise he couldn't even feel offended. He spent a long time just staring at the empty chair across the table, sipping his scotch, wondering what people did in situations like this. You know, people who weren't genius, billionaire playboys? Or used to be. At least the playboy part was sort of over, wasn't it?

He had tried the steady relationship thing. Turned out, it was harder than saving the world. (That bit actually hadn't been a surprise.) But he had decided against going back to all his old ways. At least, at once. 

Right now, it felt like a terrible choice.

Tony sighed, picking up the menu, eyeing the few but painfully perfect dishes on it. He realized he was hungry. So, why not? He might as well stay for that dinner anyway. Eating alone wasn't all that bad.

Tony didn't look up when he felt and saw someone approach his table. For a moment, some last minute hope, then he just caught a glimpse of long, black legs, and knew who this had to be. Definitely not his date. He sighed, and buried his nose in the menu, knew he had to make his choice.

”Would you like to hear tonight's specials, sir?”

The print on the menu in Tony's hands was suddenly blurred, his heart beating itself senseless against his ribs.

He _knew_ that voice! His mind was still struggling to place it, put the pieces together, but the reaction of his body, the adrenaline rushing his veins, told him that voice sure as hell should _not_ be reading him tonight's specials. Swallowing, mouth suddenly dry, Tony tore his rapidly blinking eyes from the thick, cream paper, to stare up at the waiter. Who, at the same time, took his eyes from the note pad in his hand, pen still raised to make notes.

Oh, shit!

There was no armour, no golden horns, no nasty smirk. Even the odd, spikey flare of hair was gone, cropped much shorter and now bunched together in... curls? Really? But still just as black as the worn vest. Face still nearly as white as the crisp shirt under it. The differences didn't matter. Tony would have known him anywhere.

And the same seemed to be true for his stunned waiter, staring at him with wide eyes.

Tension filled the air between them with vivid memories of broken glass.

_”Fuck.”_

The harsh, crude syllable was so wrong in every way, both spoken in this perfect, polished place, and coming out of Loki's usually so eloquent, smooth mouth. Somehow, it made the tension and the threat of violence evaporate.

And, to his own surprise, it made Tony laugh. The shock was seeping out of his system, leaving him giddy.

”Stop. Laughing.” It was a furious growl, but kept low enough that only Tony was supposed to hear it.

Tony sucked his lips in between his teeth, pressing his mouth shut, but he could feel the laughter still bubbling inside, and he knew his eyes were lined with it. The green glare he got, poisonous as it was, didn't actually help. If anything, it made it worse. He could feel his shoulders shake.

”You seem very amused, for a man just spurned.” The poison was in the voice now, too.

Okay, that killed the laughter almost at once.

”How did you -”

”Please.” A snort. ”Best table for two in the house. Two menus. And this mess?” Long fingers moved to indicate the piece of bread Tony's nervous hands had turned into scraps and crumbs all over his crumpled napkin. ”I have seen it all before.”

Tony let the menu sink back to the table. ”So. Exactly how long have you -”

”Six months on Midg-” Teeth clenching. ”Earth. Three in this wondrous place.” Eyes traveling over the exquisite decor.

”I don't even... Know what to say.”

”Your chosen starter, perhaps, Mr. Stark?” His tone was suddenly all smooth business, as a couple of other guests passed behind his back. When they were gone, his wide shoulders slumped just slightly, voice going quiet. ”Is there any possibility that you might choose to eat you dinner elsewhere?”

Tony studied the pale face, suddenly lined with just noticeable distress. Brows pulled up in a knot over the bridge of his nose, lips tense. He had never in his life expected it, but this was a nervous, and perhaps even frightened, Loki. How about that? And, well, honestly? His first reaction was some little spark of pleasure. He was only human, after all.

Then it faded. Quicker than he would have expected. Because this version of Loki also seemed very human. Thin hands gripping the note pad hard enough to make the knuckles even whiter. Eyes flickering over Tony's face in search of clues to what he might do next.

”You know what...”, Tony murmured as he let his eyes sweep over the elegant little tag on his chest. ”Luke? Really? You don't look like a Luke. But anyway, well, I like this place. I'm staying.”

A thin lip curled into a hint of a snarl.

”Not to mess with you, though. Don't flatter yourself. I was going to stay anyway.”

Loki's face was frozen in hostility a moment longer, then it fell, just like his shoulders. Before he pulled himself up, and was suddenly cold, sharp professional distance all over again. Like they had never met before.

”How perfectly lovely, sir. May I take your order then, perhaps? I shall, of course, let the chef know we have a VIP at this table.” Pen to paper, he fixed his eyes on the note pad, waiting. ”Nothing but the best for you, Mr. Stark.”

Eyes narrowing, Tony studied his neutral face. ”You're going to spit in my soup, aren't you?”

Silence. But Tony could have sworn he saw the shadow of a smile playing in the one corner of his mouth facing the table.

”All right then. No soup.” Tony sighed. ”Actually, skip starters. Just give me the lamb, will you?”

”Excellent choice, I'm sure.” Not even glancing at him, Loki swept away between the tables, leaving Tony alone at the best table for two.

Gathering the remains of his torn bread up and putting the napkin away, Tony tried to think about what had just happened. It was harder than it should have been, and he had to take a fortifying swallow from his glass, emptying it. He had barely put it back down before there came a voice by his shoulder.

”Another of the same, Mr. Stark?”

He almost spit the scotch out in surprise, turning to glare at the innocent face above him. ”Double.”

”Of course.”

Politeness had never been so offensive.

Tony got his new glass on record time. His meal as well. (No body fluids on it, either, by the look of it, and he looked pretty close.) And no sooner were his utensils on the plate before a hand flashed into his field of vision, snatching it away.

The check arrived at the table when he was looking away.

Tony unfolded a few bills, tucking them into the elegant plastic folder, but then held on to it. Not putting it down.

It took almost fifteen minutes, but then Loki admitted defeat.

”Anything else, sir?” He appeared by Tony's shoulder again, making him startle.

”Just wanted to make sure you got your tip.” With a shrug, he handed the folder back to Loki.

For a moment he was frozen, then he couldn't resist a glance. The eyes went wider, then turning to Tony. ”Why?”

”Best service I've had in years.” Truth. Not the most friendly atmosphere. But still. Great service.

A long, long, stare. Then a sigh. ”An honour. I'm sure.” Loki glanced at the folder, then away, voice going quiet again. ”May I then assume that we will have the pleasure of seeing you here again in the near future, Mr. Stark?” 

Threat? Worry? Both?

Tony hesitated, then went straight ahead. ”You'd really hate it if I came back, wouldn't you?”

”If I say yes, does that make it more likely that you will?”

”Maybe?”

A slight but visible eyeroll. ”You are always welcome here, sir. Naturally.” Then he leaned in to pick up the last glass, empty on the table, eyes going to Tony's face in a glare. ”So very welcome.”

Then he was gone, slipping away between the tables.

* * *

The drive back home was a blur of confused thoughts about what had just happened.

Had the alien supervillain who had tried to conquer the earth – and kill him in the process – just served him lamb? Had that been a dream? Or was he a lot more drunk than he thought?

No, Tony was pretty sure it had happened just the way he remembered it.

So, then, next question: What to do about it?

One call to SHIELD and Tony could have them crawling all over the place. Robbing the reastaurant of the best waiter they had likely ever had. Would be a shame, really.

Not the thing making Tony hesitate, though. Not what was still making him hesitate when he reached Stark Tower, settling in the workshop, staring ahead. Lost in memories of the pained look on Loki's face at the realization that his cover had been blown.

”JARVIS?”

”Sir?”

”Could you run a check on the staff of _Fleur de Lis_ for me? See if you find a 'Luke', something, working there since three months back. And anything on him.”

”Of course, sir.”

Somehow the precise voice of the AI reminded him of Loki's professional demeanor, and it made Tony smile, in spite of everything. He gave a snort of laughter, leaned over, rubbing his hands over his face. Just when the world didn't seem like it could get any more insane...

”I have the files ready, sir.”

”Show me.”

Loki had made a decent job of blending in, considering he had likely done all the work himself. Social security number checked out, giving up the name ”Lukas Silver”, a date of birth that would make him thirtyone (with a thirtysecond birthday coming up in just over three months), and an address in a part of town where you wouldn't want to take too long walks after sunset.

Although, that was unlikely to be a problem for Loki, right?

Tony noticed two previous employments in the month before he had joined the staff at the restuarant. The first in a grocery store, lasting a full two days. The second in a call center, sales department, leaving after two weeks, with high recommendations. (Who was surprised?)

How had he ended up a waiter, though? 

Tony was completely confused, which wasn't a common thing. He frowned at the glowing letters and numbers, eyes fixing on the serious glare coming at him from the enlarged picture on Loki's completely fake driver's license.

”According to the work schedule I have calculated from his travel patterns the last months, Mr. Silver should be working again on wednesday. Would you like me to make another reservation for dinner that night, sir?”

”Read my mind, JARV.” He waved the files out of the air, crossing his arms, staring into nothing. 

Next time, he would go for a starter, too. The scallops were just great in that place, after all.

* * *

”Why?” Loki's eyes were on the note where he had just written down the order for the seared scallop starter, but his voice was tired.

”Funny thing? That was the question I came here to ask you.”

”Not funny at all, actually.”

”What happened to that really polite guy who served me last week? Could you get him for me?”

The poisonous green glare came back for a moment, then the cool mask was in place again. ”At your service, Mr. Stark.”

Tony eyed him, noting strain under the control this time. ”No, you know what? I think I prefer the other guy, come to think of it.” He studied the menu again. ”How about sea food all the way? Lobster ravioli sounds perfect, really.”

Silence made Tony look up. The green eyes were no longer acidic, just weary, and wary.

”What do you want?”

”Funny thing again? Next question on my list.”

”Still not even remotely funny.” Loki noted his order, and picked the menu from his outstretched hand. ”White wine with that? I could get you the list.”

”I don't know shit about wine. Just pick whatever goes with it.”

A sigh. ”How refined.”

”That's my middle name.”

”No, it's not.” Loki raised an eyebrow. ”It's Edward.”

Tony felt his mouth fall open. ”How the _hell_ did you...?” He snapped it shut again. Staring. ”No. You know what? Don't even tell me. Anyway. That's just an expression. Letting you know I'm a really refined kind of guy.”

Loki seemed to think this over. ”I... see.” Then a smirk pulled at his mouth. ”Still not your middle name however, Mr. Stark.”

With that he turned, walked away, and left Tony staring some more.

The scallops were just as great as he remembered. The ravioli was possibly even better. But it was kind of wasted on Tony today. He was far too distracted by the strange things going on.

”So, are you going to answer my questions?” Tony spoke softly as Loki leaned over to get his empty plate.

”I believe I asked mine first.”

”Well, the answer to both of yours, is that I want answers to mine.”

Loki straightened. ”You are going to insist, Mr. Stark?”

”Insistent? Now, that actually could be my middle name.”

”Marvelous.” A slow sigh. ”Not here, though.”

”You could come by my -”

”Preferably _not_.”

”All right. Neutral ground.” Tony thought about it a moment, then gave the name of one of the most hidden away restaurants he used to visit. A place where even he could be considered anonymous. ”Know it?”

”No. But I will find it.” 

Loki left with his plate, and came back moments later, leaving the check.

”Tomorrow at seven. I have the night off.” Then gone once more, and he didn't come close again, even to pick up his tip.


	2. Questions

Loki arrived at the restaurant early, finding a hidden spot across the street to stand, waiting for Stark to show up. Hood over his short hair, leaning back into the shadows by the wall, he pulled a cigarette out of a packet and placed it between his lips.

He had picked up this nasty, stinking habit as a way of blending in among the mortals. It had taken him seconds to realize the magic there was in the ritual surrounding it, the bond created by sharing a cigarette, borrowing lighters, cowering together in the cold to get the quick fix. It made even complete strangers open up to each other, and he had found it very useful. Then? Well, for some reason he had just kept it up. Even though the smell annoyed him and it cost more money than it had any right to, he still kept doing it.

The tiny gas flame warmed his face as he pulled the first, stinging smoke down his throat, then he put the lighter away, waiting.

He felt the pinch of worry in his heart, the sting of anger, and tried to ignore both.

Why, of the millions of humans inhabiting this tiny island, did it have to be _him_ sitting at that table at that moment? _Why?!_

Now, Loki would most likely have to start all over. Run, abandon everything, and begin again somewhere else. Sure, he probably should have from the beginning, but the instinct telling him that Manhattan would be the last place anyone would think to look for him, had kept him here. Then it had all just grown on him, and he had begun to shape some sort of... life. He didn't want to give up on it. Not yet. Not because he had to.

In a way, Loki liked what he had. Well, no... He didn't. But at least he didn't actively hate it.

The job at the restaurant was easy enough, and it was fascinating, in its own way.

Loki had always been the one in the shadows, the one unnoticed, and he knew this had its own advatages. But still, he had never been as invisible as he was now. At least not without the aid of his magic. Walking among the tables, he might as well not have existed, or been another painting on the wall, another piece of furniture. He blended into the backgrund, and people were completely unconcerned speaking openly about personal, intimate, secret subjects in front of him.

All he had to do was keep quiet, soft, polite, and do what he was supposed to do, and they were quite willing to bare their whole lives, unhesitatingly. Never even knowing that they did.

He had learned more about Midgard in these three months than he had in a thousand years before.

The thought that all his progress might be undone now, by Stark showing up at the wrong place at the wrong time, made Loki growl around the filter in his mouth.

Fuck.

He shook himself at the word, even though he had not said it aloud. Why had it so quickly made its way into his vocabulary? It was everywhere, so perhaps it had been unavoidable.

_Fuck this. Fucking that. Fuck you in particular._

And still, the mere sight of naked skin or a simple sexual innuendo could reduce the mortals to squealing panic.

Just when he thought he had them all figured out, he knew that he was nowhere close.

Then, he had to put his errant thoughts aside, because now he saw a familiar figure in the dim lights outside the restaurant. Dropping the remains of the cigarette, killing it under a shoe, he stayed in place a few more moments, studying the man from a distance.

Enemy. Threat. Danger.

At least, that was what Loki had been sure of. Had been sure there would be a fight, that he would have to flee, that the bothersome agents soon would come searching. And then nothing at all had happened. Except for Stark himself showing up for another dinner. Asking questions. Looking painfully curious.

It was all wrong.

He should not be here. None of them should.

Across the street, the mortal stepped through the door, disappearing into the building. With a sigh, Loki pushed himself from the wall, and followed.

* * *

"So, quick recap." Stark was leaning forward, elbows on the table, watching Loki across dirty table cloth and platefuls of greasy pasta, which none of them was touching. "You come to rule the earth. Get your ass kicked. Sneak off when everyone's back is turned. And go under cover. Off the grid for half a year."

"That is about all of it, yes."

"And somewhere in all that, you threw me out a window."

Loki groaned, placing his own elbow on the table, leaning his head into his hand. Fingers in the still so surprisingly short hair, forehead against the heel of the palm. It had been a subject he had known would come up, of course, but it still was a pain.

"I mean, I _did_ sort of question you masculinity, but still..."

The man had stabbed him in a sore spot, definitely. But still? Yes, still an overreaction.

"I'm... sorry." He forced the small, and yet so chokingly huge words out between his teeth.

Silence. Loki made himself lift his head to look at the mortal, who was staring at him with those huge, dark eyes. Face slack with surprise.

"You are?" He sounded completely confused. That was obviously the last thing he had expected to hear.

Loki put his forearm on the table and nodded slowly, glancing away across the empty dining room, unable to meet those wide open eyes. "I am. That was... Unnecessary." He clenched his teeth and made himself look back. "It is the only thing I regret doing."

"Really?" The dark eyes blinked. Once. Then stared again. "I... don't even know what to say. Again. You seem to be doing that to me a lot lately."

"Better late than never." He looked down into the bowl in front of him, filled with a sad excuse for tortellini.

A little huff of laughter made him look back up.

"Well. All right." Stark's face slowly turned more serious. "I guess I can say that if you really do mean that, if you're actually sorry, I'll probably forgive you. Not all at once here and now or anything, but you know, eventually."

Loki found himself tilting his head, studying the face in front of him for clues. It was so hard. He had no idea what to look for in this man, who had tricked him before. So deceptively open. A well lit front hiding an endless row of secrets.

A lot like Loki himself, in that way.

He pushed that thought to the side.

"To be fair, I never expected you to."

"And I never expected an apology. And yet, here we are."

"Here we are." Loki ran his fingers through his hair, as always initially surprised by the feel of it, springy locks instead of smooth lengths, before remembering cutting it all off. It had been the easiest disguise he could think of. "So. Since we are. How about you get on with your questions, and we can get this whole mess over and done with?"

"You sure we can?"

"Not even slightly."

"Yeah, me neither, but at least we could try." Stark sipped his glass of red wine, and made a face probably as sour as the drink. "Holy shit, that's bad! Well. All right. I guess what I want to ask is what you are doing? And why? What's your game plan? How did -"

"Enough!" Loki raised his hands in defense. "Just... One at a time."

"Oh. Right." He cleared his throat. "What are you after this time?"

"Nothing more than to be left alone, Mr. Stark." Loki let his hands drop into his lap now. "Live whatever sort of life I can slip into, hide away, and start over."

"As a waiter?"

"To start with, yes."

"Working your way up to world domination?"

"Like you?"

"What?" Surprise. Had he really not expected to be questioned in return?

"I do read your papers, you know? You wish to make this world entirely dependent on you. Your reactors. Supplying everyone - or denying anyone. Claiming a wish to offer clean, sustainable power... Is that your true intentions? Or something more... dirty?"

"This isn't about -"

"Of course it is about you. Everything is. Right?"

"Shut up." Stark's brows furrowed.

Loki was at once unable to hold back a grin. "Next question?"

"Why are you doing things this way?"

"What else should I be doing, in your opinion?"

"I don't know? Go around looking for a throne? Ask random people to kneel?"

"No, thank you."

"So, what are you doing?"

"You know what I am doing. I wait tables."

"No, I mean, other than that. On your days off. When you're not hanging out with me, completely against your will. If you're not plotting world domination, how do you spend your free time?"

Now, it was Loki's turn to blink, surprised. He _had_ expected questions, but certainly none of this nature.

"Doing what I have always done, I should say." He made his left shoulder move up in a shrug. "I read. I learn. I watch the world turn.”

Stark went to pick up his glass again, thought better of it half way there, and pulled his hand back. Instead he frowned at Loki, leaning back in the chair. ”What you have always done? Seriously? That sounds nothing like you.”

”Why should it? You know nothing about me.” Loki smiled, as pleasantly as he could.

The frown on Stark's face deepened with thought. ”No. I guess I don't.”

After that, they just sat in silence for a while. Watching each other. Poking at the unapetizing food. Sipping water, steering clear of the wine. Strangely, the silence was not as tense or uncomfortable as Loki would have expected it to be. Just minds wandering through the same space.

In the end, he still grew impatient.

”No more questions, Mr. Stark?”

”Yeah, one. For now.” A tiny smile curled his lips. ”Could you call me Tony?”

Loki considered the implications of the words he had just heard. All of them. And sighed.

”I am not rid of you after this, am I?”

”Not likely.”

Loki gave a short nod, mostly to himself, pushed the chair back and stood, to look down on the man. ”In that case. Tony? You will have to buy me an edible dinner, the next time you have questions.”

With that, he turned, picked his jacket from the back of the chair, and walked out.

* * *

Loki spent the next two weeks waiting for... Something. Anything. Tensely watching every customer coming through the doors.

He got a lot of absolutely nothing. Which only made him more tense.

Coming home to his apartment every night was turning into torture, wondering what might be waiting in there. Not because he thought himself incapable of handling a threat, but because it was a pain to wait. The uncertainty was the real killer.

He lived in what had once been an old attic, hiding under the slanted roof of the building. The place was completely impossible to furnish, so the rent was cheap. Loki had very few pieces of furniture, so he did not mind the problem of ceiling meeting floor with just a foot of wall between.

The best part of the place, was the window.

It was placed in the only vertical wall, patterned by many small panes of glass. It covered most of the surface, and could be opened, pulling the glass into the room itself. Very impractical, but that was still where Loki spent a lot of his time. Sitting in the round opening out into the world, leaning back, one leg up and the foot supported on the opposite curve.

When he came home from work, midnight passing by, having checked the apartment for signs of intrusion, he would sit there. Smoking. Watching the city. Breathing in the strange night air.

This night was no different.

Until he caught sight of something in the far distance. Something looking like a meteor, but moving from the ground up. And with too many tails. Turning in a lazy spiral against the stars.

Suddenly, the night sky lost all its appeal.

* * *

There was a car parked by the back door of the restaurant when Loki left work the next night. Just the sleek shape of it, the bright red and sparkling chrome, told him who owned it, but if that was not enough, the light inside the vehicle was lit, showing a head of untidy hair, neat goatee, and dark eyes watching the door. 

No-one had to tell Loki they were watching for him.

He came to a halt as the heavy door fell closed behind him, an exasperated groan coming out of his throat before he could keep it back. Not that he had to, strictly speaking. No-one could hear him anyway. Then he slowly walked down the steps to the street, up to the car, placing a hand on the low roof as the window slid down.

”What do you want?”

”Bought you dinner. Totally edible this time.”

”Questions, then.”

”A few.”

Loki rubbed his free hand over his face, looking away as he lowered it. He should just leave, right now. Dissolve into nothing, even. Leave the mortal alone and wondering. But was there a point in doing that anymore?

He could start running, but then he would have to keep running. Possibly forever.

With a sigh, he straightened, took his hand off the car, and slowly walked over to the other side, getting into the passenger seat. The inside of the car smelled of something asian. He stared ahead for a while, but the car didn't move. 

Loki turned to frown at Stark. ”What?”

”Your place or my place?”

Which one was worse?

”Your place.” Loki looked away again. ”Your view beats mine.”

”Beats most.”

The car ride through the city felt very long, silent and strange. Loki was torn between wanting it to end right now, and wishing it could go on forever, postponing the questions for eternity.

That thought made him realize that for some reason, he actually had the intention of answering them.


	3. Scene of the Crime

When they arrived at the top floor of the Tower, Tony walked over to the bar to put the bag of food on it, and then glanced over at Loki, to see what he would do. Turned out, he chose to ignore Tony, for the moment, and instead slowly walked over to the windows, looking out at the midnight city below. It was an odd moment of deja vu, and still very new. In dark gray jeans, a green hoodie and a black jacket Loki looked a lot softer and more human than he had in the armour, and the tension in his stance didn't feel like threat. It felt more like unease.

Slowly, Loki turned around, eyes going straight to Tony's face, as if he had felt him looking. Then his long arms came up to cross over his chest. A very defensive gesture Tony had never seen in his body language before.

"So. Questions." The thin mouth was just a line now.

"Right." Tony turned to the bag again, picking out plastic boxes one by one, before looking over at Loki. "You prefer red or green curry?"

Loki's lips parted, eyebrows knitting together. "How is...? I... Green."

"Of course. Should have guessed that, shouldn't I?" Tony seated himself on one of the bar stools, placing one container of food in front of the one next to his, and another in front of himself. Then picked up the disposable chopsticks and napkins and divided them between them as well.

All done, he found Loki still staring from the windows.

"You coming? Or you have some strange space magic so you can eat from all the way over there?"

After a few more moments of hesitation, Loki let his arms drop to his sides and walked back to the bar, to take his jacket off, hang it over the seat next to the one chosen for him. Then he sat down without looking at Tony, and started opening the container.

Tony busied himself with his own, and left Loki to it for a while. Looking back up, he saw that Loki had at least started on his food.

"Edible?"

Loki nodded, swallowed, and kept eating. He had no problems with the chopsticks at all.

They both ate in a silence that wasn't exactly comfortable, but at least not painful. Then finally, Tony decided to put the sticks down and turn towards Loki on the high seat. "You want that drink I offered you last time?"

He saw the green eyes roll towards him, and a green shoulder come up in a shrug. Not a yes, but not a no either.

Tony made the decision to walk around the bar to pour them each a glass of scotch. If that was the only answer he would get, he'd interpret it the way he wanted. He put one glass by Loki, and then stood on the opposite side of the counter, sipping his own, while Loki pushed the leftovers away and sat up straight to look at him.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"The questions."

"I've already asked you... What? Five of them? Six? Lost count."

Loki's mouth opened, and then shut again. He shook his head. "You drove me over here to ask me my food preferences, and offer me a drink?" He glared under a dark frown. "Here, of all places?"

Tony let his eyes move over the room behind Loki's back. Windows, floors... "Yeah, I guess we both have some... uncomfortable memories of this place."

"Yes. So, why?"

"Maybe that's why? Because we do? So we could sort of, well, start over?"

Tony met Loki's searching eyes.

"There is something wrong with your mind, Tony. You are aware of this, I hope?"

"Kind of rich, coming from you."

"That should tell you something, then." Loki picked his glass up, experimentally sniffed the liquor, and took a sip. His eyes went slightly unfocused as he analyzed the flavour, and then he took another. "Will the rest of your questions attempt to search out equally deep, dark secrets of mine? What size shoes I wear, perhaps? How I take my coffee?"

"Well, I -" Tony cut himself off. "Wait, what? You drink coffee? Damn. I was so sure you would be a tea kind of guy."

"I like both."

"Let me guess - green tea?"

"Black, actually."

"Favourite flavour?"

"Blueberry."

They stared at each other for a moment. Then Tony blinked and took a swallow from his own glass.

"I'm all out of questions for now."

Loki continued to stare. "Something _very_ wrong", he muttered, almost under his breath.

"Maybe." Tony shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just sick of the drama and the fighting and, well, all of it. And call me crazy all you like, but something gave me the distinct impression that you are too." He arched a questioning eyebrow. "Or am I just imagining that part?"

Some more silent staring. Then something changed behind the bright eyes, turned somehow thoughtful, and the slightest upwards curve became visible at the corners of Loki's mouth. "No, you're not."

"Well, that's great. I mean I love action as much as the next guy, but...” He thought it over. ”Know what? Let's keep it honest. I love action a lot _more_ than the next guy. A lot. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't. But even action gets old. Fighting the same fights? And the drama... No, that gets old even sooner.”

Loki nodded slowly, his eyes going back into his glass for a moment, before coming up again. ”So, starting over, then?”

”I'll drink to that.” Tony raised his own drink, and after just a moments hesitation, Loki gently clinked the bottom of his glass against the side of Tony's.

* * *

Done with the food, glass empty, Loki got a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his jacket, before putting it on. He gave Tony a questioning look.

”All right if I just...?”

”Knock yourself out.”

Then Loki walked out onto the wide balcony outside and, to Tony's surprise, right up to the edge, sitting down with his feet dangling over nothing. He couldn't stop staring at the leather covered back as he saw Loki making the motions of lighting his cigarette, then an arm moving to put packet and lighter back in the pocket. Then he couldn't stop himself from grabbing his own jacket, and walk out to join him.

Tony didn't sit down right by the edge the same way, but stopped a step behind.

”What?” Loki didn't look back at him as he spoke.

”Can I bum one?”

”Tony Stark needs to bum a smoke?”

”Been years since I bought my own. So, yeah, I guess I do.”

Loki turned, then, hand going to his pocket and giving Tony the pack. ”Well. Knock yourself out.”

The first drag of smoke made Tony pull a face. ”That sure reminds me why I stopped buying these damn things.”

”Horrible, is it not?”

”Completely.”

They smoked in silence for a while. Thankfully, the air wasn't biting cold this night, even up here.

”Do you feel safe standing there? By the edge? Next to me?” Again, Loki spoke without looking back at Tony.

”No.”

”And still you do?”

”Experience tells me being inside doesn't make a lick of difference.”

Tony could see the back of the curly head move in a nod.

They finished their cigarettes in silence, before Loki got back to his feet, so stand in front of Tony.

”Well. Dinner was better, this time. Thank you.”

”No problem.” Tony frowned. ”You... need a ride home? Cab? Something?”

With a grin, Loki shook his head. ”Good bye, Tony.”

”Bye?”

A flare of greenish light passed over the shape in front of him, and then Loki was gone.

Right. Strange space magic. That was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

On that saturday night, Tony had another reservation at the _Fleur de Lis_. This time, not only for himself. He was back at the best table for two in the dining room, and this time the chair on the other side of it wasn't empty.

In some ways, the blonde reminded him of Pepper. Maybe that was why he had asked her out? She had a crisp, cool aura about her that let him know she was in complete control, at least on the surface. He was starting to feel that this was a mistake, in itself. He should have gone for someone completely different, shouldn't he?

A completely disorganized brunette, perhaps?

When they had been seated, Loki came into view, carrying their menus. His distant, professional mask was in place perfectly, and Tony knew that no-one watching from the outside could have any idea they had even seen each other before. The same when he came back to take their orders.

Tony was nearly starting to forget, himself, who their waiter actually was, when Loki appeared by his shoulder with the wine list. Frowning, he glanced up. What the hell? Loki knew full well there was no use showing him that thing.

”I am sure you will find something to go perfectly with your meal, sir.”

Something in the smooth voice made Tony blink. Nod. And accept the black folder. As Loki shifted away among the tables again, he opened it, and saw a small, handwritten note under the clip holding the list in place inside the folder. The script was elegant, slanted, and clearly readable.

_The woman is recording your conversation. Be wary. (And I recommend Chardonney for the main course.)_

Well, shit.

”Anything catch your eye, Mr. Stark?”

”We'll go with the Chardonney.” Tony didn't look up as he handed the list back.

”Excellent.”

The rest of the so called date passed in a blur, where Tony was mostly on auto pilot, talking a lot and saying very, very little.

He really needed a smoke.

* * *

When Loki came out of the back door that night, Tony was waiting for him again, leaning against the hood of the car this time. Smoking. He held out the pack before Loki was even all the way down the stairs.

”Interesting night”, Loki mumbled around the filter.

”Shut up.”

A white grin flashed Tony's way, before Loki handed him the pack and lighter back, and took the first, deep drag off the cigarette. He held it between his thumb and the tip of his middle finger, the index finger curled under his cheekbone as he brought it to his lips.

”A question, if I may?”

”Yeah?” Tony flicked some ashes away, before looking up at the smooth face.

”Did it ever occur to you, that it might be a trick? That I might be lying?”

Tony opened his mouth to answer, then shut it again, before slowly shaking his head. ”It didn't. Actually. Huh. How about that?”

Now, he had no idea why. Why had he, without so much as a second thought, without question, believed the warning from Loki, of all goddamned people, about the woman he was after all on a date with? Never even cosindering the possibility that he might be played by the waiter, not the date?

He pulled down a lungful of smoke, glancing up at the sky as it came brushing back out through his nose. ”Was it? A trick?” His eyes went back to Loki.

”No.” A small smile. ”She used her phone. I saw it over her shoulder, not even trying to hide it. Very sloppy work. She deserved to fail.”

”So, if she'd done better, you wouldn't have told me?”

”If she had managed to sneak her trick past me, she would have earned her success, I should think.”

”Good point.”

For a while they stood silent, even after they were done smoking, staring into their own personal versions of the night around them.

Tony felt lost in thought, but at the same time, couldn't make his head work. It was all dissappointed, tired hopelessness flooding in. Was this how his life was going to be forever? Well, it wasn't new, really, that no-one was honestly interested in him, as a person. He was money and solutions. Gossip, perhaps. But very rarely a person.

He sighed. ”You remember what I said to you that time, in the Tower?”

”You mean before...?”

”The window. Yes.”

”Well, considering the short amount of time we were given, you said a great many things.” Loki tilted his head. ”Although, I am starting to see that this is typical. Care to be slightly more specific?”

”I said, that there was no version of that, where you'd...” Tony began.

”...Come out on top”, they finished in unison.

”You remember.”

”Of course. You did turn out to be right, after all.”

”And that's kind of the problem.”

”Oh? Elaborate.”

”I used to think that was just right about you. We won, you lost. We came out on top. Done.” Tony shrugged. ”But it sure as hell doesn't feel like it now. If anything, I've... well, lost myself. A bit. You know?”

Loki stared at him a moment, and then couldn't hold back a laugh. 

”Look at me, Tony. Look at where I am. Do you need to ask?”

There was really no need to answer that, was there?


	4. Insomnia

The pale winter sun was rising over Manhattan, painting black shadows with cold light. Loki could see the steam of his breath and the smoke catch it when it reached him, leaning against the railing of the balcony on Stark Tower.

He shouldn't be there. Really should _not_ be there. He had come uninvited, and he suspected this would not be appreciated.

Instead, he should be home. In his bed. Sleeping, resting after a long shift at the restaurant. And Loki had tried. Had gone home after work, by midnight, even undressed and stretched out on the mattress. Then he had spent hours staring up at the inside of the slanted roof, neither sleep nor rest finding him, until he spat out a curse, pulled his clothes back on and started walking out.

At the door, he had stopped short. Where should he go? Tired but restless. Wanting to see everything and be part of nothing.

Ah. Of course...

So, he had ended up here. At the top of the world, with freezing air pulling at him, alone in blessed, empty silence.

The plan had been to leave before Stark would ever know he had been there. Before dawn, preferably. But now, that plan had failed, so Loki sighed, pulled up a new cigarette, lit it off the embers of the last, and hooked the heel of a boot over the railing behind him. One more, then he would go back home.

He was half way through the last one, when the door leading into the Tower suddenly opened, and Tony stood in the doorway, staring at him. His face looked drawn, and there were shadows under his eyes.

”Hey, man?” There was surprise in Stark's voice, but he did not actually seem angry about seeing him there.

”Good morning. I hope I didn't wake you?” Could he have?

Tony gave a snort. ”Not bloody likely. Came up here for a nightcap, actually. Haven't gone to bed yet.” He winced. ”To be honest, I didn't go to bed yesterday either.”

”Oh?”

”You could say that again.”

”Oh.” Loki repeated, obediently. ”I could, obviously. Why?”

”You... No. It's just... Forget it. Ask me about that another time.” Tony shuddered, rubbing his hands over his bare arms, wearing only a t-shirt with his jeans. ”Fucking _freezing_ out here! You want to come inside, and keep me company while I try to get drunk enough to go to bed?”

”That sounds like a horrible way to spend a morning.”

One side of Stark's mouth pulled up in a mirthless little curve. ”Yeah, well, you're not wrong. It is.”

Loki nodded, took one last, long drag off the cigarette, and killed it. ”All right”, he said, through the rush of smoke. ”I'll join you.”

There was a hint of more surprise on Tony's face then, before it fell back into the weary lines, and he turned to leave the doorway.

He pushed himself away from the railing, and went to follow the mortal inside, where Tony was already heading for the bar. The man's hands seemed unusually unsteady and fumbling when he rummaged around among bottles and glasses. When Loki looked up from hanging his jacket over a bar stool, he saw Stark rub a hand over his eyes, wincing, like they were burning. Which they likely were, if he had really been awake for two days. And by the look of him, Loki saw no reason to doubt it.

Tony caught him looking, and pulled a wry face, before holding up a glass. ”You want one?”

”Since you are having one, I might as well.”

”I'm probably having ten. At least.” Stark put the glass down next to the one he had already placed on the counter for himself, and poured amber liquid in both. A lot of it, too. He then picked one up, and swallowed down a large part of the drink at once. ”Really need some rest. I try to keep to a maximum of forty hours awake, but, you know...”

”It's been longer?”

”JARVIS?” The man's eyes went to the ceiling.

”Fortyseven hours and fiftytwo minutes, sir.”

The crisp, clean voice made Loki startle, looking around, hands on the counter in front of him and ready to duck for cover. No-one in sight. When his wide eyes came back to Tony, he was smiling.

”Sorry about that. Should have warned you. That's just my computer. He runs the place.”

”And it speaks?”

”I made him that way.”

”That... doesn't surprise me. Actually.” Loki slowly relaxed, and then sipped his glass. Not pouring the drink down his throat the way Tony was. ”So. What is keeping you awake?”

Tony shrugged, staring into his almost empty glass. ”Oh, you know. Nothing out of the ordinary. Trying to save the world. Figure out my life. Failing miserably. With both. Just any other thursday, more or less.”

”Today is saturday.”

”Really?” The mortal looked up. ”Well. Fortyeight hours later, I guess that makes sense.” He sighed, reached for the bottle and refilled his glass, before Loki had taken three sips of his own, then the bloodshot eyes were on him again. ”You? What's keeping you up?”

”I would have to say in part the same things keeping you up.” Loki put his glass on the counter, leaned on his elbows, arms folded around the drink.

”Wild guess would be that it's not the 'saving the world' part.”

”Obviously.”

”So, trying to figure your life out, then. Great. Welcome to humanity.” Tony raised his glass in a mock toast, and drank.

”To be fair, I was trying to do that long before coming here.” Loki smirked. ”One might even say I am a thousand years ahead of you in that field.”

”And how's that working out for you?”

Loki gave a snort. ”Shut up, Tony.”

”You want silence, you came to the wrong place.”

”I had silence. Out there.” He made a motion with his curly head to indicate the balcony behind him.

”So that's why you came? I was wondering.”

”I thought it was. But since I am in here now, I guess it wasn't.”

Then there suddenly was silence anyway. 

Loki thought about asking Tony about the ”saving the world part”, but he was reasonably sure he would get no answers about that. And, well, honestly? He wasn't really interested in getting any.

The old Loki, scheming and plotting for power, would have been all over that. As the mortals phrased it. But that Loki was gone. He had been bashed silly on the floor behind this new Loki, and given up. That old Loki had been going on about freedom being a lie, all the while believing that lie himself. Believing that he could go beyond it, if he just had enough power. But the more power he had, the more he had reached for, the less free he had been.

Now? Now, he had the power to bring food on time and not mix up orders for drinks and starters, and he felt perfectly free. 

So he chose not to involve himself in whatever it was that Stark was working on. The arc reactors? Suits? Avengers? No, thank you. And he felt sure that Tony preferred it that way as well.

In the silence, Stark had filled and emptied his glass for a third time. He was looking unsteady on his feet by now, blinking sluggishly at the counter.

”Okay, that one may have gone down a bit too fast. Feels like it might change it's mind and come back up.”

Loki studied him a moment, and then reached into his pocket to pull out his pack of cigarettes, placing it on the counter within Tony's field of vision. He saw the movement of the dark eyebrows and long lashes as the man's eyes fixed on it.

”Fresh air?”

A noise that might have been meant to be a chuckle. ”Stupid. Going out there now. Would fall. Probably.” A sigh. ”Yeah, what the hell. Why not?”

Loki got to his feet and picked up his jacket. But instead of putting it on, he stepped up behind Tony, on their way to the balcony door, and placed it over the mortal's shoulders. A surprised, slightly cross eyed look came around to find him.

With a onesided shrug, Loki looked back. ”You need it better.”

”Thanks.” Tony fumbled his arms into the too long sleeves, pushing them up over his hands, and then opened the door to let them out.

The risen sun had warmed the air, but just slightly. It was still a frosty, biting morning. Loki didn't mind. Even in just the thin, black suit pants from work and the longsleeved t-shirt he had carelessly pulled on before leaving the apartment, he was not at all cold. He just pulled his shoulders up slightly, cupping his hand around the two cigarettes he was lighting, protecting them from the winds, before taking them from his lips and handing one over to Tony.

”Thanks”, Stark repeated, slowly, carefully pulling the smoke into his lungs.

The man had stopped far from any edge or railing, standing more or less in the middle of the open space, winds pulling at him. Shivering even under the borrowed jacket.

Loki sighed, and stepped closer, to put himself between Tony and the worst of the chill. Again, surprised eyes came up to his face.

”Gonna push me over?” He mumbled around the filter, putting it back for another drag of smoke.

”Trying to keep you warm.” Loki gave him a little smirk. ”And just to let you know? If you were at risk of making a drunken stumble off the edge, I would catch you.”

The barely focused eyes narrowed. ”Why?”

”Trying to make up for old mistakes, parhaps? Or because I somehow seem to have taken a liking to your company? Take your pick.”

”Both? Both seem sort of good.”

”Possibly both.” Loki turned his head as he raised his own cigarette.

Then there was silence again, until they were finished. And then some more.

”Well. It worked. I don't feel sick anymore.”

”Magic.”

”Yeah, right.” A huff. A sigh. ”I should try going to bed now.”

”Me too.”

”Working tonight?”

”Yes.”

”Definitely should, then.” Tony shrugged out of the too large leather jacket, handing it back. ”Here. Thanks. Again. For the company. And yeah, for the record? I like yours too. Company, I mean.”

Smiling, Loki pulled the jacket on, already warm. ”Good to know. Get inside now, Tony, before you freeze. And get to bed.”

With a slow nod, the man turned, walked to the door, raised a hand in a limp wave. ”Later.” Then he disappeared inside, a shape moving behind the thick glass, walking to the elevator.

Loki watched until he vanished behind the sliding doors. Then he turned to look out over the city again, now sparkling in full, icy sunlight. Pretty and ugly, structured and chaotic, all at the same time. He pulled another cigarette out of his pocket, and lit it.

One more. Then he was definitely going home. Definitely.


	5. Bad Habits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Just a quick break from my NaNoWriMo writing to bring you an update!)

Tony took the cigarette from his mouth and studied the thing through narrowed eyes while the smoke and his warm breath formed a cloud around his hand. He wondered what the hell this thing was doing in his hand to begin with. Why had he even started? Again?

”Yeah, you know what?" He turned to Loki, who was leaning back against the railing of the balcony on top of the Tower, staring off into space. "I think it's about damn time we gave this shit up.”

”What are you talking about?” Loki flicked ash off his own cigarette, glancing over at Tony from his casual position.

Scowling, Tony reached his hand out towards him, making an angry little gesture. Not at Loki, though. No, he was glaring at the smoking, glowing thing between his fingers. ”This! It's disgusting. And stupid as hell! And we may be a lot of things, you and I. But _stupid _? No, that's not one of them. I mean, why are we even doing this?”__

After taking a slow, thoughtful drag, Loki turned the hand holding his own cigarette. He still held it in that odd grip between thumb and middle finger, and now he looked at it while the smoke came rushing out his nostrils.

”Why?” He repeated, the word coming slowly. ”How should I know? I see no reason, and still, it just keeps... happening.”

”Well, that's the way bad habits and addictions get you, you know", Tony said before he, despite the subject he himself had brought up, put the filter back to his lips. ”Trust me. I know all about it.”

”Addictions?” Loki pulled his lip up in a sneer. ”Speak for yourself. I can stop this. At any time.”

Studying his very serious face, realizing he wasn't even joking, Tony couldn't hold back a laugh. And the scowl it earned him from Loki just made it worse, until he was leaning forward with his hands on his knees, laughing so hard he was crying.

”Oh, man. Shit!” He finally managed to straighten up, wiping the tears away with his free hand, catching his breath. ”I didn't think that line was universal. That's priceless! Really!”

”What?” Loki wasn't even slightly amused.

”Everyone knows that saying 'I can quit anytime I want', is the same thing as admitting that you can't.”

The sharp, green eyes went from Tony's grinning face, to the cigarette in Loki's own hand, and then back again. Then he got the thing back in his mouth, sucking so hard at it Tony could see the glow of it burn itself quickly up the white paper.

”Fuck you.” The harsh words, coming out on a rush of smoke, just made Tony start laughing again.

Killing his cigarette, Tony calmed down again and tried giving Loki a serious look. "Really, though? We should quit."

"You do as you wish, Tony." Loki pulled a shoulder up in his usual, onesided shrug. "You always do, anyway."

Tony guessed that he wasn't convinced. He'd find a way, though. Damn if he was quitting alone!

* * *

Without them ever talking about it, it had become sort of a, well, tradition maybe? That whenever Loki worked the saturday night shift at the restaurant - which was obviously the worst, busiest night of the week - Tony would show up with his car by the back door of the place when Loki's shift ended. Mostly with a bag of some kind of take-away in the backseat, or to take him somewhere hidden away to eat. Either way, they usually ended up in the Tower sooner or later, drinking and smoking (yes, still!) and talking into the early morning hours.

Sometimes Tony was busy those nights, but very rarely. And even when he was, whatever sort of social function he was forced to attend often allowed him to leave around midnight, and he could still show up in the alley in time to pick Loki up after work. On those occasions, when he was still dressed in his tux, Loki would give him a teasing grin about the outfit, and they would have pretty much the same little exchange every time:

"I do so hope you didn't dress up for me, Tony?"

"Is it working?"

"Not even a little."

"Then it wasn't for you. Get in the car."

Tonight was one of those nights, and Tony had showed up right after sneaking off from a spectacularly boring fundraiser. The only fun he'd had all night, had been hitting on a really gorgeous girl with the brightest blue eyes - only to see her leave a couple of hour later with what by the look of it had to be her girlfriend.

No manner of luck at all these days. Really.

So he had picked up pizza on the way over. Because, you know, comfort food.

When Loki came out the door and found him waiting, there showed a little frown on his pale face. After getting into the car, and getting a look at Tony's clothes, he didn't grin or give the usual comment.

Now what?

Tony didn't ask, though. Not about that. He tapped the wheel with his fingers and stared along the alley in front of the car.

"Suggestion."

"Oh?"

"Your place? For once? Kind of curious about where you live, to be honest." He turned his head to give Loki a raised eyebrow.

The frown came back, deeper. "Well, if you insist." Loki pulled a wry face. "Not much to see, really, but sure."

"I don't care." Tony started the car. "JARVIS? Set a course for Loki's place, will you?"

"Of course, sir."

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Loki's head snap his way, and he gave him a grin. "You really didn't expect me to not do my homework, did you?"

Loki glared. "Just drive."

Then Loki was unusually quiet for part of the drive, until he seemed to make up his mind on something and made a determined move, twisting around, folding his long legs until he could almost turn to face Tony in his seat.

”We need to talk.”

Tony threw him a narrow look, before turning back to watch the road. ”Are you... breaking up with me?” Wow. He hadn't even thought they had that kind of relationship where you could, but this sounded like he had been wrong.

”Perhaps? In a way." Loki hesitated, and then continued with some more certainty. "For your own good, nothing else.”

"My own good?" Tony just stared at the road. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"I believe we could use some time apart."

”Just a friendly warning here, pal? You say 'it's not you, it's me' next, and I throw you out of the goddamned car.”

Loki raised an eyebrow high enough for Tony to catch it out of the corner of his eye. ”There is no need for me to say that. It's all you.”

”Okay, still thinking about throwing you out of the car", Tony growled. What was going on?

”You are very welcome to try. Just consider your chances of survival compared to mine before you do anything rash.”

Glaring at the road, Tony cleched his teeth. ”All right. Fuck it. No-one throws anyone. We've had enough of that shit anyway.” He pulled a breath, and glanced at Loki again. "Why don't you skip the clichées, and tell me what this is really about?"

Loki hesitated a moment, then spoke up. "You have put your life on hold."

Reaching a red light, Tony put his foot down on the break a bit harder than necessary, making them both tilt forward and then hit the seats again.

"Smooth", he heard Loki mutter, but ignored it at the moment. (Fuck him and his backseat driving anyway! Not at all distracting...)

Tony turned an incredulous face on his passenger. "I _what_?"

Loki sighed. "Your life", he repeated, slower, like he was talking to a child, "is on hold. You haven't even been close to going on another date since the one I... Well, saved you from. You work, but you make no real progress because you are not really trying."

"How the _hell_ would -?"

"Shh! Not done." Loki carelessly cut him off. "You don't even see your friends anymore. Your Avengers. The last one to visit was Rogers, and that was, what? Nearly three weeks ago?"

Helpless to stop it, Tony could feel his mouth open and close a couple of times, in a probably very good impression of a fish on dry land. He had nothing smart to say, at all, for once.

Loki gave another half shrug, and there came that familiar teasing smile. "You really didn't expect me not to do my homework, did you?"

"Asshole."

Tony tore his eyes from Loki's smirking face when someone behind him used his horn to inform him that the light had turned green. For a while they traveled in silence again, getting closer to Loki's home.

"I am the only person you see regularly. Aren't I?" Loki's voice was a bit gentler now.

With a deep breath, Tony slowed down and pulled into a parking space right in front of the run down apartment building where JARVIS had led him. He turned the car off, but remained sitting in his seat, staring blankly ahead, fingertips resting on the bottom of the wheel.

"Okay, look." He finally spoke up, and did sort of the same twisting move in his seat that Loki had done before, so they were as close to facing each other as they could be in the limited space. "I'm not saying you're completely wrong. Beacuse you're not. I have sort of... Put things on hold. All right? I'm sick of it. All of it. It'll probably pass and all, but right now I've had it with the world and I... Yeah. So. That's that."

There came nothing from Loki. He just listened, eyes on Tony's face.

"And you are the only person I see regularly." It looked like Loki was about to say something then, so Tony raised a hand to stop him. "You don't have to tell me how weird that is, because trust me, I know. For whatever weird reason, though, I... Yeah..." He cleared his throat. "I like you, okay? You're an asshole and a smartass and you can be annoying as all hell and you made me start _smoking_ again, but yeah, I like you."

A tiny curve of a genuine smile came to Loki's lips then, and Tony made sure to answer it before he glanced away.

"But to be honest? Maybe you have become sort of an... Alibi? Hanging out with you, fucking weird as that is, means I'm not just... doing nothing." He turned back to Loki, all serious now. "But not seeing you wouldn't put my life less on hold. It's not because of you."

The green eyes narrowed slightly, taking in his face, as Loki seemed to think about what he'd said. Then there came a nod. "All right."

"All right?"

"I'm not breaking up with you."

"Great. And lucky for you, really. Because if you had, you can bet your ass you wouldn't have gotten any pizza."

Laughing, Loki opened the door and unfolded himself from the seat, stepping outside.

* * *

Loki's apartment was pretty tiny, made even smaller by the slanted roof it was hidden under, but the view from the large, round window wasn't all bad. There was a small, worn couch and a coffee table, a bed, and some makeshift excuse for a kitchen.

They were on the couch now, the pizza all gone - except for the crusts Loki had left of his slices. That was weird if anything. Who didn't eat the crusts?!

Loki leaned back further in his seat, pulling a leg up and wrapping his arms around it. "You really should see other people, though."

Tony groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Loki... What the hell? I thought we were done with this?"

"Not even close. I said I wouldn't break up with you. That doesn't mean I think you are doing the right thing."

"So what should I be doing?" He dropped his hands between his knees, leaning forward with his elbows on this thighs, and frowned at Loki. "Go on more random blind dates with women who turn ot to be journalists? Or worse?"

"No, that won't work. I agree. But it doesn't have to be random." Loki tilted his head thoughtfully. "I could help you find someone more suitable."

Tony blinked. "You?!"

"Yes." Loki didn't look insulted by Tony's complete surprise.

"You know a lot of women, then?"

"A few."

"Really?" Tony staightened up, staring at him. Sure, it wasn't that Loki didn't look good, or that he couldn't be as charming as he wanted, but still? "It's not like I've seen you with any. Or heard you talk about dates of your own."

"Tony." Loki heaved a sigh now, rolling his eyes. "I do not even have the words to tell you how far down on my list of priorities a love life is."

"Huh." Tony chewed on his tongue, thinking. "You don't get lonely?"

"It happens."

"So?"

A onesided shrug. "I have you?"

Tony stared at him for a while. Blinked. Stared some more. "Are you seriously telling me that we both use each other as an alibi to stay single?"

"I suppose we do."

"That's pathetic."

"I suppose it is." Loki raked his fingers back through the black curls. "But I have time. And a lot of it."

"Yeah, rub it in, why don't you?" Tony pulled a wry face, and looked away, let his eyes wander over the almost empty space under the slanted ceiling. He felt and heard Loki get up from the couch and walk off, and when he turned back, he already had a cigarette between his lips, and was pulling the window open.

"I thought we decided to quit that?"

"You decided to quit." Loki mumbled as he raised the lighter. "I made no such promise."

Tony watched him in silence, as Loki sat down in the curved opening, pulling one leg to himself again. Then he had an idea.

"All right. I'll make you a deal."

The green eyes asked the question.

"You quit smoking - no, _we_ quit smoking! - and I'll let you set me up for a date." That could go horribly wrong in so many ways. But, hey, it wasn't as if the ones he'd set up himself had been a roaring success. "Deal?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, studying his face. "Three."

"What?"

"Three dates. One is nothing. Preferably three with the same woman, if I manage to get it right on the first try. Or three with different women, if not." Loki pulled cold air down his throat, and let it out in a sideways puff of smoke. "Deal?"

"Sure. Sounds fair." Tony got up from the couch, walked over and offered Loki his hand. "Deal."

When Loki took his hand and shook it, Tony wondered what he hell he was getting himself into. On the other hand, maybe Loki would never manage to give up the cigarettes, and then he would never have to find out.


	6. Cease and Desist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Been a while since the last update. Sorry about that... But I'm not leaving this story high and dry!)

Loki was sitting on his couch, bent nearly double over his own thighs, his arms around his head, resting with his forehead against the coffee table. He had been sitting like that for a long time, eyes closed, teeth clenched, focusing on breathing. He was tense as a bowstring and _angry_. Seething. Furious. Pissed off. If there had been something in the apartment he could break that he didn't really need, he would have reduced it to dust. But there wasn't, so he could just try to keep breathing and not break anything.

When the phone rang he knew it even though it was muted; he could feel the vibrations from the device travel over the surface of the table. Without looking up, without even moving his head, he reached a hand out, picked it up and swiped his thumb over the smooth screen before placing it by his ear. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Only one person had this number. The same person who had given him the phone.

”Whatcha wearing?”

The first time Tony had started a conversation over the phone with that question, thick with innuendo, Loki had nearly choked on his own tongue, shocked and annoyed in equal parts, before the man on the other end of the line had broken down in guffaws and Loki had realized it was all a jest. Since then it had become the usual way for Tony to greet him over the phone, with a sort of combined meaning of 'how are you?' and 'what are you doing?'.

”I hate you”, Loki got out in a hissing growl into the coffe table under his lips.

”Bad day, huh?”

”Bad _century_ , Stark! I loathe this filthy cesspool of a realm! I should reduce it all to rubble and ashes, you miserable mortal!”

”Whoa!” There was a hint of laughter in Tony's voice, and Loki growled again. ”Someone's really woken up on the 'evil conqueror' side of the bed this morning... The quitting isn't going so well, I take it?”

”The quitting is going perfectly well, thank you so very fucking much.” At last Loki sat up, leaning back and sliding down in the couch instead, throwing his legs carelessly up on the table. Eyes still closed, his free hand over his face. ”It's _living_ that isn't going well! I am reasonably sure I'm dying, and I hate you for doing this to me!”

Now Tony really did laugh, out loud. ”You go ahead and blame me if it feels better, big boy. But you know you want to do this. I couldn't have made you do it. Obviously.”

”Fuck you.” It was a miserable whine now, his throat closing with frustrated rage.

”Are you... crying right now?”

” _ **No!**_ ” The shout echoed back off the slanted roof over him as Loki wiped his wet eyes with quick, angry movements.

A few beats of silence.

”Right.” He could hear Tony clear his throat. ”You want to come over?”

”No”, Loki muttered. ”I can't”, he amended after a brief pause. ”If I get on the subway like this, I _will_ kill someone.”

”Sooo... No strange space magic?”

Sighing, Loki finally opened his eyes and looked up at the unsteady, trembling hand hovering over his face. ”I'm not stable enough. I don't know where I would end up.”

”All right. Then I'm coming over.” It wasn't a question this time, but a stated fact.

”I am... not sure it's safe, Tony.” It hurt Loki to say that, but he felt that he had to. 

”Sure it is, pal. No worries. I'll bring some stuff to fix you right up.” He could hear Tony already moving around. ”See ya soon!” Without waiting for a reply, the human hung up on him.

Loki just dropped the phone, let himself fall over in the couch, and put his arm over his head. He sincerely hoped he would be able to keep himself from throwing Tony out the window again. After all, he really liked his window... And Tony. Damnit. Even now, hating him.

At least this building was not nearly as tall as the Tower.

* * *

It was about an hour later when there came a knock on his door, and Tony was standing outside. When Loki opened it he didn't step right inside in his usual manner, though. Instead he reached his hands out, pulled up the short sleeve of Loki's t-shirt over his left arm and slapped the side of his bicep, hard enough to actually sting a bit.

”What are you doing now, you crazy mortal?” Loki blinked down at his arm after Tony's hands were pulled back, and then he could see two skin-coloured patches sticking to him.

”Nicotine patches. To take the edge off.” Tony held out a small box to him before stepping inside at last. He was carrying no less than two paper bags, bringing both of them over to the coffee table. ”I may or may not be wearing one at the moment, too.” He grinned at Loki over his shoulder when he'd put his bags down.

Frowning at the box in his hand Loki shut the door and then followed Tony over to the couch, where they both sat down. He couldn't make sense of the writing on the box at the moment, so he dropped in on the table where Tony was now putting a wrapped up hamburger and some wilting fries in front of him, along with a large paper cup of soda and a straw.

”Cheeseburger”, Tony clarified while he placed identical items of food in front of himself. ”Makes anything better. Trust me on this one.”

Loki was going to protest that he wasn't hungry, didn't want any food at all, most of all that he didn't need this greasy mess. But then the scents hit him, and suddenly his mouth was watering when it remembered that he hadn't eaten all day. So he relented, and they sat side by side making short work of the burgers and fries, before they both leaned back with their cups, full to bursting.

”Better?” Tony watched him with an arched eyebrow, straw resting on his lower lip.

Loki thought about it for a moment, and then nodded slowly. He did feel better. If it was the strange patches on his arm, or the food grounding him, or a bit of both, he didn't know. But it was better. He was calmer, and the worst of the seething anger was gone.

”Told you I'd fix you right up.” The man looked pleased. ”That's what I do, after all.”

”I guess it is.”

Frowning down at his own cup, Loki thought about that. Because it was true, wasn't it? Tony fixed things. But only things that he deemed were important enough to invest his time and thought in. Loki knew that too. 

Tony had told Loki that he liked him, but Loki hadn't been entirely sure that was the truth. Even if the man spent more time with him than anyone else at the moment, that could be driven by many other motivations, and he still kept an eye wide open looking for any hint of those. Loki couldn't afford something like complete trust, especially not in a man who had been his enemy not that long ago. He still didn't feel like he could. But he was thinking that perhaps he could trust that one small, and so very huge, statement.

It turned out that Tony had brought more of the patches, and also some chewing gum with the same effect. An enourmous bag of sweets, and one of his Stark Industries tablets, explaining that he had uploaded every movie he owned on the thing, so Loki would have something to do when he got restless. Since he didn't own a TV. Or a computer. Something that Tony had never been able to come to terms with.

Loki very, very nearly started crying again.

He blamed it on the quitting. Completely. And hid it behind growling something at Tony about being impossible and putting him through all this misery purely out of spite. The man just smiled.

They spent the night on the couch talking, drinking the ridiculous amount of soda, and then Tony spent a few minutes teaching Loki how to use the tablet before he got up to leave. Surprising Loki by announcing that it was past midnight. The painful hours of the day had crawled by, and the night had passed so much more quickly.

When he was leaning with his shoulder against the door frame after letting Tony out, he saw the man pause before leaving, a curious expression on his face.

”What?”

Loki arched an eyebrow. ”What?”

”You looked like you were going to say something and then changed your mind.”

”Oh.” Hesitating, Loki crossed his arms in front of himself, looking away to gather some courage. Then he turned back and met the dark eyes. ”Thank you”, he got out, at last. ”For fixing me.”

For a second or two Tony's face was blank, and Loki tensed. But then the man grinned, and reached out a hand to pat his arm, right over the patches on it. ”No problem, big boy.”

And then he was gone. But when Loki went inside to curl up on the couch, the tablet placed on his stomach and leaning against his long thighs, the bag of sweets placed on the floor but withing comfortable reach, he didn't feel lonely anymore.

He might need some more fixing up, later. No, he knew he would need that. But there was someone who could. And, even more importantly, would.

This miserable realm might not be so miserable after all.


	7. Forgiven

When Tony turned from his bar, the usual glass of scotch in his hand, he realized that there was a certain... quality to the lights of the city outside. He frowned. A lot more red. Twinkling things. Stars. Oh, right. Christmas. Had he missed it? No, wait, it was next week. That was it.

Damn.

Tony wished he'd missed it. It had never been his favourite time of year, and now even less. For a while there, when he'd been trying to get it to work with Pepper, things had been looking up. Holidays had seemed like a positive thing. Now? Not so much. Tony guessed he'd be back to getting way too drunk at christmas parties and pretending he wasn't bitter.

Shaking it off, he shifted his eyes to the increasingly familiar shape draped over the seats of his couch. Loki had pulled off both his leather jacket and the green hoodie when he had arrived, and was stretched out on his front on the cushions in black jeans and t-shirt, one leg straight, the other angled up, foot leaning against the backrest. No shoes on. Just socks. Striped black and green. His eyes were fixed on the tablet propped against the armrest, a long finger raised to tap it at regular intervals.

Without even seeing the screen, Tony knew what he was doing; Loki was playing Tetris. He'd discovered the app on the tablet Tony had let him borrow, and it had quickly turned into something of an obsession. It wasn't difficult to guess that it was a substitute for the cigarettes Loki had finally decided to give up, but Tony was happy for it. It had made him a lot less murderous and conqueror-y than he had been when the withdrawal had been at its worst.

Made sense. You never did get rid of a habit anyway; you just replaced it with a new one.

Sipping from his glass, studying the both relaxed and intensely focused man on his couch, Tony started thinking about that. And about the time when Loki had been a lot more murderous and conqueror-y. It was hard remembering it was the same guy, now lying around with bare arms and feet in his striped socks, playing an old, addictive game with the tip of his tongue lodged in the corner of his mouth. But it was. And just like the game had replaced his smoking, something must have replaced his wish to rule the world. Tony had tried asking about that before, but he had never felt satisfied with the answers.

Now he wasn't sure if the problem really had been the answers, or his own expectations of what the answers _should_ be.

Tony wandered over and sat down in the armchair by the end of the couch where Loki and the tablet was. Drinking again, waiting to see if Loki would look up. He never did.

"You were right, you know." Tony rested the hand holding the glass on his thigh.

"Of course I was", Loki murmured, still not taking his eyes off the game. "About what?"

"I really don't know anything about you."

That made Loki blink and turn his green eyes, lit up by the screen, to meet Tony's. "What are you on about now?"

"When I asked what you do, you said something about reading, and watching the world turn", Tony remembered. "I said that sounded nothing like you, and you pointed out that that was because I knew nothing about you."

"I remember", Loki said.

"Then I thought I did know you, and what you were after. But I really didn't. I still don't."

Loki watched him for a while before he picked up the tablet, reached out to put it away on the coffee table and then shifted to sit curled up by the armrest, eyes as focused on Tony as they had been on the falling squares. "You used to have to buy me dinner to ask me questions", he said, a smile playing over his lips.

”You hungry?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

The smile widened. "No. You may ask anyway." Then Loki turned more serious and his head tilted a bit to the side, eyes narrowing a hint. "Although I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. I believe you do know more about me than you think."

Tony felt his eyebrow move higher.

Loki noticed, and answered with a shrug. "You did buy me a few dinners, after all. And asked a lot of questions."

"Yeah, well, sure... But, you know", Tony shifted his eyes down to his glass, "that doesn't mean you gave me any honest answers. To any of it."

"I did, though."

Tony looked up again, finding Loki still serious and focused. "You did?"

"Yes." Loki nodded slowly. "To all of it, actually." The smirk that pulled at his lips then was a hint bitter. "Not my fault if you didn't believe me."

"No, it's not, is it?" Tony sipped his drink and then rested the thick bottom of the glass against his leg again. "I guess I was so sure you were lying I never really paid attention to what you said." He cleared his throat. "Sorry 'bout that."

For a moment Loki looked stunned. "You are not the first one to do that", he finally said. "You are the first to ever apologize for it, however." A more honest smile passed by his face. "You're forgiven."

"Thanks." Tony smiled back. "So, considering that, I guess I do know a bit about you." He frowned a little and scratched his cheek, right by the trimmed edge of the goatee. "At least I know that you're just like me in one way; you need a new obsession to replace an old one."

They both glanced at the now dark tablet on the table, and then their eyes met again. Loki just shrugged.

"Yeah, I know how it works." Tony shrugged too. "That's the thing I'm still not sure I get. You really were obsessed when you came to Earth. Now you don't seem to be. Not on that sort of scale, at least. You can't replace taking over the world with Tetris." He made a little gesture to the tablet, not taking his eyes from Loki.

By now Loki was looking away, hugging the leg he had pulled to his chest in the usual way. He was quiet still.

And for a while, Tony was quiet too. Waiting. Thinking that Loki had claimed to have been honest so far. Maybe he still would be.

Loki was still looking away when Tony saw him sigh, and then heard him speak. "There is no need to replace an obsession if it was never truly yours", he said softly, a finger scratching absently over the fabric of his jeans.

"And you're saying this one wasn't." There was no need to make it a question.

"It was... given to me. Forced upon me. When I had nothing and was... broken, someone put me back together to suit their ends rather than to make me whole." Loki still spoke to something on the floor by the other end of the couch.

"They burdened you with glorious purpose?"

The words made Loki's head snap around. His face was blank at first, but then he nodded.

Tony cleared his throat again, shifting in his seat under what he glimpsed in Loki's eyes. "You said that throwing me out the window was the only thing you regret doing", he continued.

Another nod. "There is no use regretting what I had to do", Loki said, voice firm. "I didn't have to do that." He looked down at his moving fingertip. "I lost control, made a mistake, and I am sorry." There was a catch at the last word.

Loki had told him before that he was sorry, and it had been one of the things Tony had been reasonably sure had to have been a lie. Now he was completely sure it wasn't. He also remembered what he had said then, the promise that if Loki really meant his apology, Tony would some day forgive him.

He blinked and studied the figure on the couch, folded in on himself now, and he knew today was some day. "You're forgiven", he said, gently.

The slow way Loki's head turned back told Tony that he most likely thought he'd imagined those words. He blinked, his green eyes wide, and the restless finger on his leg came to a halt.

”Truly?”

Tony nodded. ”Yeah. I'm not in the habit of just throwing things like that around.”

”I have noticed, actually.” Loki got some control back over his face and managed a smile.

They were surprisingly relaxed after that. Loki returned to turning and aligning his combinations of electronic squares, Tony refilled his drink, and they talked of anything and nothing until Loki at last decided that it was late enough that he had to leave.

Leaning back in his chair, Tony watched Loki pull his hoodie and jacket back on, getting ready to shift back home. Biting his lip, thinking, he made a decision of his own.

”Loki?”

”Yes?” Ruffling a hand through his black curls Loki looked down at him.

”Do you celebrate christmas?”

Loki shook his head. ”No. I am not familiar, and even if I was, there is no-one I would celebrate with.”

”Pretty much same here.” Tony gave a wry smile and scratched his goatee. ”Usually I would go out and get falling down drunk, but I don't feel like it.” He sighed. ”What you say we spend christmas together not celebrating christmas?”

Loki's head tilted thoughtfully. ”So, more or less doing what we do any other day?”

”More or less.”

A onesided shrug. ”I could manage that, I think.”

”Great.” Tony gave him a grin, and stood up, getting ready to pick up his glass and return to the bar, when Loki had left. He had already started turning away, when something unexpected happened.

Suddenly, Loki's arm was around his shoulders, pulling him around and then right into Loki's chest, landing his face by one of the wide shoulders, covered in soft leather. It took a moment for Tony to understand what was going on, his mind a surprised blank, just a part of him sending out an alarm, wondering if this was some kind of attack on him. Before he realized that no, of course it wasn't.

Tony didn't get that many hugs. He wasn't used to them and definitely not sure how to respond to one in a natural way. Especially not from a man who very recently had absolutely not been on his list of huggable people. 

And it was painfully obvious that Loki wasn't the most experienced hugger in the universe either. Literally painful, actually, as he was pressing way too hard at Tony's back, making him give out a little squeaking noise, before he could stop himself. At least it made Loki ease up a bit, but he didn't let go, just kept holding Tony close.

After a moment Tony snapped out of the paralysis, raised his arms, and put both of them around Loki's back, which felt very tense under his touch. As soon as Loki felt his arms, though, and realized that the gesture had been accepted, he relaxed.

”Thank you”, Loki said, simply, and not simple at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Everyone gets a go at the christmas feels! Next chapter - Loki sets Tony up for the first of the three dates...)


	8. Memory and Myth

Once more Loki was sitting in the cold, windy opening left by his round window, watching the night and the lights. Only this time, he wasn't smoking. Which felt more like a pain than it actually had in a few days, since this was the kind of time when he really, really could have used a smoke. Because Loki was waiting impatiently, he was wildly curious, and yes, if he was honest with himself, he was slightly nervous. All of those things would have been made easier to stand with a cigarette between his lips. Not that he was going to have one, though. No. He hadn't gone through the misery of quitting just to start all over again with that nasty habit.

And besides, if he gave in to temptation now, the deal he had made about quitting would be off again. Not an option. Not when he had just arranged the first of the three dates Tony had agreed to.

Loki would never have guessed that he was going to care this much about the outcome of the night; it had all just been a deal. One he had felt that he had to make to not simply agree to what Tony told him he should do. But then, things had changed. Tony hadn't just told him what he should do – he had helped him through it, too. And then they had had that talk, right before christmas. A talk Loki still felt warm thinking about.

Tony had forgiven him. Something Loki had never dared hope would happen, because Tony had, after all, not been the only one convinced the other was lying.

Which brought back the memory of something Loki had been if possible even more deeply moved by.

Throwing Tony out his own window had been a horrible mistake, one that could so easily have cost the man everything, but still simply a mistake. A moment of lost impulse control. He had never _expected_ to be forgiven, but it had been an isolated event, something that had happened once and never been repeated.

The fact that Tony had admitted to never taking what Loki had told him to heart, because he had been too sure he had been lying, had in many ways been a bigger surprise. The fact that he had apologized for it had been a shock. So many had done the same, and never been able to rethink it. No matter the evidence, Loki had always been considered the liar, the trickster, the manipulator. Not as an isolated event or mistake, no, as the very fabric of his nature. Of course, it had often been so, but still, he was not made entirely of those parts and nothing else.

Tony had never needed any evidence at all to see the truth of it. He had simply taken Loki's word for it, and reconsidered everything.

Even the man who had been his brother had never done that.

_You are incapable of sincerity._

The words had stung. No matter the fact that he had in that moment been plotting to ruin his brother's coronation – he had still meant everything he had told him. Sincerely.

And what if there had been someone, anyone, who would have listened to Loki's words, believed them, believed him? If there would have been someone to tell when he knew his brother to not be prepared to take the throne? Because he had known. He had known Thor better than anyone, and he had seen the flaws. But no-one would have listened, without believing him envious. Envious, and nothing else.

If that one person had existed, he would never have had to plot. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be here now.

So much would never have had to happen.

But then, everything that had happened since had placed him somewhere where he had found that one person who would listen. Someone who perhaps could be (dared he even think it?) a friend. Loki had never had a friend before. No-one in his life had freely chosen his company and wanted to keep it, considering it enough in itself to be around him. He was far from certain this was the case here either, but he had at least started to hope.

That was part of the reason he was slightly nervous now. If this night – when he was not even present – did not go well, it might all come back to, as the humans so colourfully phrased it, bite him on the ass. Because if he had chosen wrong with the first woman he had introduced to Tony, he woul hear it. And then maybe there would be no more dates. And no more trust...

When he was honest, there was another reason he was nervous as well – he wanted the date to go well. For Tony's sake.

Loki still remembered the night when he had revealed that the woman Tony was having dinner with was recording their date. He had not known Tony as well then as he did now, but still, even with the man trying so hard to hide it, Loki had seen the deep, cutting disappointment in his eyes. A tiny little bit more hope and trust dying somewhere in his glowing heart. And Loki knew that pain. He couldn't wish it on someone he, after all, liked.

He wanted Tony to be happy.

The very idea made Loki laugh, his breath forming white puffs of smoke on the chilled air before he rubbed his hands over his face. Who would have ever thought the day would come when he felt such a thing?

"Sentiment", he muttered, and then smiled to himself. It didn't sound so much like a curse, anymore, somehow.

He had just gotten up off the floor and closed the window between himself and the night when his phone rang. Loki stepped over to the table, picked it up, and instead of his usual, waiting silence, he answered the call.

”How did it go?”

Tony's warm chuckle greeted him. ”Someone's curious, I hear... Come on over and I'll tell you.”

Loki had barely ended the call before he was by the bar in Tony's penthouse, making the man on the other side of it startle slightly with his appearance. He grinned. ”Well?”

”I had a really great time, to be honest.” Tony answered his grin. ”Have to admit I'm a bit surprised by how great, actually. I didn't know what to expect from a woman you'd set me up with.”

”You got along, then?” It was difficult to contain his curiosity.

”Definitely! Anna's pretty amazing.” Tony poured himself a drink while he talked. ”And she had _no_ idea who I am. That's really damn refreshing.”

Loki felt pleased. He had guessed that Tony would enjoy getting to be seen as just himself for once. ”Well, she is not from around.”

”Yeah, I caught the accent pretty quickly.” Now the one curious, Tony leaned forward. ”How the hell did you meet a girl from Sweden, anyway?”

”Oh, well, we happen to have an interest in common.” 

”And that is?”

”Me.” Loki grinned widely again.

”Come again?” Tony's dark eyebrows jumped halfway to his hairline.

Loki couldn't hold back a chuckle of his own. ”She studies the old norse myths, she must have told you that?” He waited to see Tony nod. ”And she happens to take a special interest in the ones about my namesake. We met over some rare books at the library, and got to talking.”

That made the mortal blink. ”You know what? I didn't even think about that part of it when she mentioned her research. Huh.” He shook his head in seeming disbelief. ”So you got to know her while talking about _you_ , and she had no idea?”

”Of course she didn't.” Loki leaned on his elbows against the counter between them. ”But it's not really _me_ she studies, just myths and legends bearing my name. They very rarely have anything to do with the real me.” He tilted his head. ”Did you know they believe I gave birth to a horse?”

Tony nearly choked on the last sip of his drink, but his coughs slowly turned to laughter. ”Are you serious right now?” The man wiped tears out of the corners of his eyes while catching his breath. ”Damn, I'm happy that didn't come up in conversation over dinner.”

”Oh yes, very serious.” The teasing smile Loki knew was pulling at his mouth made him a liar, though. ”I apparently let myself get caught by a stallion and gave birth to an eight-legged foal.”

”That's messed up.” Gaping, Tony had frozen right when he was about to refill his glass. 

”Yes, I was quite offended to hear it.” Loki rolled his eyes, giving a snort. ”As if I would ever let a stallion get the better of me, no matter how formidable.”

”That's the part you're offended by?” Finally Tony refilled his drink and put the bottle away again.

”It's the only truly unbelievable part”, Loki said, with a shrug.

Tony opened his mouth, about to ask something more, then shut it and took a deep swallow from his drink. He shook his head. ”Yeah, no, I really don't want to know.” Then he shook the rest of himself. ”Anna, though? Honestly? She's great.”

”You would like to see her again, then?” Leaning in further over the bar, Loki smiled at the man.

”I would, actually. You could have a future in matchmaking, big boy.” Grinning, Tony raised his glass to him. ”Cheers!”

And Loki was happy he hadn't fallen for temptation, and chosen to stay away from the cigarettes. This deal was playing out rather nicely.


	9. Press Play

”She's what?” Tony sat down a bit too heavily on his kitchen chair, staring across the table at Loki, who was crossing his arms over his chest in that defensive gesture he seemed to have picked up since he'd become 'human'.

”Going back home”, Loki repeated, his eyes dropping. ”I should have made sure to find things like this out before introducing you.” His long fingers looked to be gripping his elbows. ”I messed up.”

The unusually normal, modern wording almost made Tony smile, even when he was feeling the sting of disappointment. He'd really liked Anna, and hoped to see her again, and now he wouldn't. Yeah, that sucked, but then the beginning of a smile faded when he saw the tense look on Loki's face, giving Tony worried glances, like he was afraid Tony would yell and throw him out.

”Hey?” Tony put his hands on the table, palms up on either side of his still steaming cup of coffee. ”It's not the end of the world. Shit happens. It's all right.”

”No”, Loki insisted, ”it is not 'all right' at all. I should have -”

With a snort, Tony shook his head. ”Should have, could have, would have. Useless.” He added a shrug and a crooked smile. ”I met her once. She was great, but I'll live. If I survived losing Pepper, I'll get over this little setback.”

Frowning, tilting his head, Loki finally let his arms drop to his sides. ”Pepper?”

Tony almost asked him what the hell he was doing, acting so stupid, before he realized that of course Loki didn't know about Pepper. He'd never seen her during the dark days of the invsion, and then he had been in hiding during the month's when it had all started crumbling and falling apart, running like sand through Tony's fingers.

So when Loki had sat down in a chair across the table, Tony drank his coffee and told him the story of what he had at the time been fairly sure was the love of his life. The years of friendship and support and patience. Yeah, he'd made her lose it a few times, of course, but besides Rhodey no-one could put up with his bullshit like Pepper had. And still did, in a way. They barely met these days, but she still ran his company, of course. She hadn't given up.

Unlike him.

”What went wrong?” Loki rested his chin on a loose fist, his black brows knitting.

”I wish I knew exactly”, Tony sighed. Going to take another swallow of coffee, he noticed his cup was empty and pushed it to the side. ”Most likely it wasn't just one thing, you know?”

”Life very rarely works that way”, Loki agreed.

”I've noticed.” A wry smile escaped him, before he tried to give a real answer. ”I think she liked the Avengers thing, actually. That I did something... good. Worthwhile. That I cared about something bigger. _Maybe_ the thing with the nuke was a step too far, but well, she got over that one too.”

Just giving a nod, not moving his chin from his hand, Loki wordlessly urged him to keep going.

”Rebuilding wasn't a problem either. I think it was when I started working on the arc reactors that things went wrong, really.” He rubbed a hand through his hair. ”They were supposed to be my next step in saving the world. More long-term than stopping alien invasions. Still are the next step. But damn, they made me bitter.”

”More bitter than an alien invasion?” The fist supporting Loki's chin wasn't as loose anymore, and his jaw looked to be flexing.

Tony gave a sharp little laugh. ”A lot more. That little episode left me with some pretty bothersome anxiety issues. Not gonna lie.”

The green eyes left his face again at that.

”But, yeah, it didn't make me bitter. It wasn't personal.” He gave Loki a small smile when he dared look back. ”The level of greed and stupidity and ingratitude and plain old ass-fuckery with the reactors though... I doubt you'd even believe me if I told you. Companies and governments and even fucking SHIELD putting up resistance wherever I turned and it pissed me off. Still pisses me off.”

”That is what keeps you from working now? Still?” At last, Loki straightened up in his chair.

”Exactly.” Tony looked down at the dark surface of the table. ”I put everything into getting the prototype that ran this place into a perfected final product, and then it all was for nothing. Or I felt it was. Pepper, though? She's more used to that kind of shit, and she didn't let it get to her like I did. I just... Lost it there for a while.” With another sigh, he traced a fingertip around the bottom of his cup. ”If it was one thing that drove her away, I would have to say it was my bitterness. And, yeah, what can I say? That sucks.”

For a while they both sat silent. Then Tony raised his head again, and found Loki looking at him. Thoughtful and serious. Still, they were quiet a moment.

”Do you still want me to arrange a second date?” Loki spoke at last, slow but curious.

”Of course.” Tony smiled. ”A deal is a deal.”

* * *

The second date made Tony reconsider Loki's future in matchmaking, though. 

Sandra, a doll-like brunette with the most silvery laugh Tony had ever heard, had worked together with Loki in the call center where he had started his carreer on Earth. Unlike Anna, she knew exactly who he was, and she practically glowed with excitement.

It was something that he would have loved once. Now? It sort of made him feel old. Old and used up.

Maybe that was why he ended up bringing her home after their dinner; because he could. And because he hoped getting this beaming, sparkling young woman into bed would help.

It didn't.

* * *

Early the next morning, after Sandra had more or less bounced into the elevator to leave, Tony sat on the rumpled bed, thinking (weirdly) about Loki. Or, to be exact, something Loki had said a while ago.

_You have put your life on hold._

It was really impossible to sneak anything past that guy, wasn't it? He'd figured all of this out then, before Tony had come close to telling him anything that was more private and personal than what might have been printed in any newspaper.

Tony? Yeah, well, he was starting to get it now. Better late than never... Maybe.

After staring ahead of himself for over half an hour, Tony finally picked up his phone and called Loki's number. This time, the usual silence greeted him.

”If I say no to the third date, will you start smoking again?” He leaned with an elbow on his knee, forehead on his palm.

Not even half a beat of hesitation. ”Yes. Definitely. Twice as bad, at least.” He could even hear Loki's smirk. ”I will pull you straight down with me too, Tony, and you know it.”

”Fuck.” Tony groaned and closed his eyes.

”A wise man once told me that 'a deal is a deal'”, Loki added, a hint softer.

”I'm a genius, not wise.”

”That explains much.” A laugh followed. ”But I will still hold you to it.”

”Yeah, I had a feeling you would.” Tony rubbed fingertips over his eyes, giving up.

With friends like Loki, he didn't actually need enemies, did he?

* * *

One week later, Tony was sitting at a bar in a newly opened place right in the middle of Manhattan. Fancy. All new and modern and shiny, but decorated with enough warmth to not feel stiff and offputting. He liked it.

The scotch was first class, too, which helped him get through the waiting he had made himself suffer through by being there almost an hour early, too full of nerves to sitt around the penthouse and stare at the wall. Too scared he would lose track of time if he went to the workshop. Better to sit here and just wait it out. And the bartender seemed able to read his mind, always right there whenever Tony's glass was almost empty. The guy even felt sort of familiar. Tall and lean and all friendly smiles. Couldn't put his finger on it, though.

Eight o'clock, when his third and final date should be there, came and passed. Tony was starting to wonder if history would repeat itself and he was getting stood up all over again, when he heard the door open and the unmistakeable sound of high heels hitting the floor reached him. Hopeful, he turned in the high chair, and then nearly fell off it.

”Tony?” Pepper had stopped half way between the door and the bar, and she looked about as shocked as he felt. She also looked really, really damn good. Under her dark coat he saw a hint of something in a rich, golden colour that seemed softer than what she usually wore, and it made her face look like it was glowing. Her lips that shade of just shocking red he'd never been able to resist. 

”Hi, Pep.” He was happy he hadn't fallen off the chair. ”What are you up to?”

”Business meeting, actually.” She got her long legs moving and walked up to the bar, standing right beside him. ”For the life of me I can't remember making an appointment in a place like this, at a time like this, but it's been a lot lately. Must have slipped my mind.”

The bartender came gliding by in that smooth way as soon as she got close, taking her order for a Cosmopolitan, and then shifting away again. Tony once more got that feeling that the whole green-eyes-black-curls thing was so damn familiar, but every time he tried to get a grip on it, that particular train of thought just... derailed. In the end he gave up on it and turned to Pepper again.

Good thing too, since she was talking to him again.

”You?”

”I was just...” He glanced at a clock. Eight thirty. Yeah, he was officially stood up now. No use saying anything about that, then. ”Checking out this place. Just opened last week, and I was curious.”

”What do you think?” Pepper looked around while she pulled her coat off, giving him a glimpse of a bare back and the shining lengths of her hair.

”Looks great.”

She turned back in time to catch him looking at her instead of the bar. And froze. But just for a moment.

Half an hour later, the man she had apparently had an appointment with hadn't shown up either, but by then they were talking. Really talking. In a way they hadn't in a long time. So Pepper shrugged it off, said she would deal with her absentminded PA in the morning, and suggested they move to a table. She hated hanging around by the counter at bars, and Tony knew it, so he agreed.

The bartender sent them off with fresh drinks, and a wink at Tony when Pepper's back was turned.

Weird.

When they had found some more comfortable seats, and he looked across the table at her softly smiling face, it felt like someone had pressed the play-button on the controlpanel of Tony's world, and everything started running at normal speed again. 

His life was no longer on hold.


	10. Priorities

It had been surprisingly easy. Or perhaps not. Perhaps Loki had simply let his magic go unused for so long he had forgotten how useful it could truly be. He had mostly used it to flit across the city whenever he wanted to visit Tony, but that was nothing. This was different. This was once more Loki working his magic, working his mischief, and he realized that he had missed it.

Luckily, Pepper's personal assistant at Stark Industries favoured an actual, old fashioned calendar out of paper, rather than relying solely on her computer. Loki was still unfamiliar with the workings of such electronics, for the most part, and he definitely didn't know how one would interact with magic. So when all he had to do was borrow a sample of the womans handwriting and the name of a man miss Potts was set to meet two weeks later, it was a simple thing to create a post-it (green, obviously) with the time and address for a new, made up meeting on the night Loki had chosen.

He had never told Tony about his new job either. It would be a surprise. One he was holding back until after he knew if this night went well or not. So when he saw Tony enter the bar, he shrouded himself in a spell to hide from the man, in plain sight.

It was strange interacting with someone he knew so well by now, and have him just glance over and nod at a complete stranger, but Loki was too pleased by being able to watch the meeting between Tony and Pepper to mind.

He had, by luck or chance or something else, managed to find his way into a void in Tony's life. A time when he'd had no-one and nothing else. That had given him an opportunity to get to know the man and come to enjoy his company, but perhaps that also meant that now, when this void was likely to once more be filled, Loki would no longer be welcome? He had known about that risk when he set this whole thing up, of course, but he had still been willing to take it.

Loki might lose what he had, but Tony would get something back. Something that had been there long before Loki had set foot on this planet. He, somehow, felt he had no right to put his own interests above that.

And when he saw the very obvious joy on Tony's face, he was happy he hadn't.

By the end of the night, when closing time was drawing near, Loki watched Tony kiss Pepper goodbye, before returning to the bar to take care of the tab for the night. He gave Loki, who was wiping the counter after the night's service, another one of those bland, hello-there-stranger smiles, and went to take out a card.

When Tony looked up from his wallet, Loki dropped the spell he had been hiding behind all night, felt it slide off him like a thin layer of chilled water, and showed himself.

Loki thought it was a sign of how used to him Tony had become by now that he didn't startle when he saw who his bartender really was. His brown eyes just widened, and his lips parted when his face went slightly slack with surprise.

"Oh my god it's you." He almost breathed the words.

Grinning, Loki finished wiping the bar between them. "I appreciate it, but there is really no need for such devotion." He made an exaggerated shrug with his left shoulder. "We can stay just friends if you like."

Then he winced internally at calling them "friends", even as a jest. Perhaps Tony would protest it?

But when the mortal spoke up again, it wasn't to say anything about that. ”Shit, I was so sure I knew you, all damn night! I'm happy I wasn't just losing my mind, actually.” He grinned, widely, but then quickly turned shocked again, when a new thought hit him. ”Wait...? _You_ set this thing up? With Pepper?”

Rubbing his hands dry on his black apron, Loki smirked at him. "I hope you enjoyed your third date, Tony. Because from here on out, you are on your own."

"I did enjoy it! A lot! I just..." Tony shook his head, looking stunned. "Not what I expected." Then he pulled on a little smile over his confusion. "But I hope I won't be completely on my own?"

Loki swallowed, but tried to hide that he did, and how dry his throat suddenly was, by swiping Tony's card. "You do?"

"Yeah, well... We _are_ friends. Aren't we? And even if I manage to not fuck this thing up – again – I'd really like us to stay that way." The smile was still there when Tony got his card back, and had even grown a bit wider and warmer now. "I don't have that many."

It took some fight, but at last Loki could give a smile back. It was small and didn't feel steady all the way, but he kept it in place. "In that case, no, you won't be completely on your own." With a glance around the bar, he then continued. "And now you will know where to find me."

"So, all done with the waiter thing?" Tony leaned on the bar on crossed arms.

Loki nodded. "I told you, it was just a beginning."

"In working your way up to world domination?" Tony raised an eyebrow, but he smiled too.

Chuckling, Loki shook his head. "I will start by figuring my life out, I think. Then I will go from there."

"Good place to start", Tony agreed. "Then, when you're done with that, maybe I'll be the one setting _you_ up on dates? I know at least some nice girls I'm sure you might like."

Loki just shook his head again, lips still faintly curled up.

"No?" Tony frowned. "I know some nice guys too, if you -"

The sigh and eyeroll cut Tony off. "I told you, before. A love life is very far down on my list of priorities." If he would be completely honest, it was not even on the list. Even on the same page as the list. Somehow, it had never been. But he doubted Tony would understand that. ”If I can make myself a life, of sorts, it will be enough to begin with.”

”Then I'd say you are already pretty much there.” The brightness of Tony's smile then surprised Loki. ”I mean, look at you?” He made a gesture to sum Loki up where he was standing behind the bar. ”You got a place to live and a job, one I'm betting you'll be pretty great at too. Especially considering the little matchmaking thing you seem to have going. Nice work, by the way.”

Loki flashed him a grin.

”And you've got yourself a friend.” Tony started pulling his jacket on, still smiling. ”I'd say that's an okay life.” Placing his hands on the back of one of the chairs by the bar, Tony shrugged. ”And when you're ready to move on to bigger and better things, like I'm pretty sure you will be, one day, you give me a call. You're not completely on your own either, you know?”

”I know”, he said, and was surprised that he meant it. Because standing face to face with the man who had once been an enemy, Loki felt, maybe for the first time ever, that he actually wasn't completely on his own.


End file.
